Tagged: humor

MOUTH: RANTS & ROUTINES (e-Pub and Kindle now available)

Mouth: Rants and Routines is now available in a couple of digital formats, which should make it easy for you to download and read the book on just about any phone, tablet or computer.

You’ll find the Kindle version over at Amazon (click here), and for those who don’t wish to give that multinational behemoth any of your hard-earned money, you can also zip over to Smashwords and find the ePub version there (click here).

I’ve priced the book at $2.99 (U.S.) which, I think, is fair, certainly a helluva a lot cheaper than what traditional publishers charge for their offerings (any e-book going for over seven or eight bucks is a rip-off as far as I’m concerned).

Read the excerpts I’ve made available or listen to the recording I made of some of the material (more are forthcoming) and then decide for yourself if this is your cup of poison. Fans of Ricky Gervais, Bill Hicks or George Carlin, will love my book. On the other hand, if those dudes hold no appeal to you…er…

If you do enjoy Mouth, for God’s sake make sure you leave positive feedback on Amazon or wherever you downloaded it, help spread the word and create some buzz for a unique project (and a tiny, independent press).

And, of course, drop me a line here, telling me how the book affected you and if it was an enjoyable (or not) reading experience.

I look forward to hearing from you, one way or the other.

“Mouth”: The Table of Contents

My new book Mouth: Rants and Routines contains over 40 broadsides on a variety of subjects near and drear to my heart.

I’m posting the Table of Contents below, just to illustrate the breadth and diversity of the subject matter.

In the meantime, I urge you to pop over to a site that has recently posted one of the most personal essays from Mouth, a warts-and-all overview of my three-decade long writing career, with the promising title “Man of Constant Failure”. Click here to read it.

I also posted one of my favorite bits, a takedown of stupid comic book movies and the critics who laud them, over at my film site, Cinema Arete. Click here to read it.

And don’t forget the live performance of some of the essays from Mouth I recorded in my living room before a very appreciative audience. I loaded it on to Bandcamp for free listening. Click here to tune in.

And now, the aforementioned Table of Contents. The roll call of infamy:

Introduction

Disgraceland (I)

The Attractions of Misanthropy

White Riot

Phone Sex

This movie sucks (and so do you)

Paris is Burning

Coming Soon to Your Hometown

I’ve Seen the Future, Baby, and It’s Boring

God, A Concept

Self-Loathing

Bad At Sex

Agents of Control

Profanity

Who are you? (I)

Good, Honest Hatred

Family

Friends

Kissing

Chicken Little

Disgraceland (II)

Man to Man

Christians & Taliban

Foot in Mouth Disease

Who are you? (II)

First Impressions

Uncommon Fears

Questions

Stupid People: A Case For Eugenics?

I Don’t Care

Kill Yourself

Trades People

Get Out Your Hankies

Gun Crazy

Dreamer

Who are you? (III)

Single People

Man of Constant Failure

People Who Take Signs to Public Events

Between the Idea and the Reality

In Praise of Book Burning

Killing Alexander

Anger Management

MADM

I Hate White People

Love

Distress Call

Disgraceland (Coda)

Acknowledgements

* * * * *

Mouth: Rants & Routines is currently being prepped for publication as an e-book/Kindle and will be available for sale and downloading by the last week of May.

Check back here in the coming days for further updates.

 

 

Presenting “Mouth: Rants & Routines” (cover art)

I’ve been promising a preview of the cover of my collection of political and personal rants and here it is.

My wife Sherron provided the original cover art and also handled the design.

Mouth will be released initially as an ebook and we’ll see what happens from there.

It is a harsh, unrelenting depiction of our narcissistic, superficial culture, a breath of fresh air for those who are fed up with a society narrow-focussed on the trivial, while the rest of the world burns.

Anticipating a publication date of April 30th, but I will be posting excerpts between now and then, a few teasers to whet your appetite.

Stay tuned.

"Mouth":Final cover.png

The End is Nigh

Completing the final draft of my latest book, experiencing giddiness, a strong sense of anticipation, as well as a certain amount of anxiety—I mean, how are folks going to react to 40+ “routines”, satiric snippets, many of which are devoted to controversial or touchy subjects? We’ve become so thin-skinned and defensive these days that the most innocuous remark can be misread as bigoted or insensitive, topical humor regarded with suspicion and those holding dissenting views treated like latter day heretics and pariahs.

A guy on the far Left putting down political correctness, attacking the notion that our society should focus on social issues, at the expense of much more pressing concerns like poverty, food and health security, the looming threats posed by climate change and global warming? Not advisable, one runs the risk of being accused of apostasy or, even worse, labeled a “hater”, which, these days, is akin to being called a pedophile.

At various points during the conception and writing of this book I’ve paused, questioning my motivation, my aims…even my sanity. It would be far easier keeping my head down and mouth shut, not responding to the threat to freedom of expression and personal liberty presented by mushy-headed liberals trying to socially engineer their brave new world. Except…all my life I have been a progressive and I don’t want to see that agenda hijacked by a small, vocal group of people who wish to control what we talk about and the words we’re allowed to use in conversation and debate.

I also have a very strong hunch that we are being deliberately distracted with social causes (like identity politics) because the Powers That Be don’t want to be forced to make the massive, systemic changes necessary to confront the hegemony of the wealthy, the rampant consumerism threatening the future viability of the planet, the dark underbelly of capitalism.

All my adult life I have spoken out against censorship and will not, as an artist and human being, have my ideas, my imagination and themes, controlled by anyone else, regardless of how fine and honorable their intentions might seem.

I know my book, once it’s released, will cause offense, will annoy and alarm people, maybe a lot of people, but that’s kind of the point. We can’t be weak-kneed when we are defending something as fundamental as freedom of speech.

In about two weeks I’m going to be hosting an informal reading in our home, inviting a few friends and acquaintances over to hear excerpts from the book. A public workshop of the material. I’m curious to see what their reaction will be; it will be an excellent gauge as to how its contents will be received by people who don’t know me or my body of work.

Gonna be an interesting evening…

Further: hope to have a mockup of the cover ready to show you in the next week or ten days…I will be posting excerpts from the book around mid-April, releasing electronic versions of the complete text by the end of that month…there might also be an audio recording of my wee “house concert”, which (if it’s of sufficient quality) I’ll post either here or on my Bandcamp page.

Komatsu

Komatsu, the Destroyer

The monsters are tearing up 105th Street
devouring it in powerful maws;
the monsters are swallowing our street
rending it with their jaws.

Sherron, mind your flower beds
count your perennials one, two, three;
the monsters are eating 105th Street
heedless of leaf, root or tree.

 

Copyright, 2017 (All Rights Reserved)

Komatsu

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More crazy search terms

Some years back I posted about the search terms people employ and (somehow) end up at this site. There have been some humdingers.

My personal favorite is “self-pissing for pleasure”. Now that is one particular kink that has never crossed my mind. Apparently people don these rubber suits and—

Forget it. I can see from the expression on your face you’re not ready to hear the rest of it.

This installment features terms drawn from the past 6-8 months.

Stuff like:

“unicorn transparent” (great name for an anthology of bad fantasy tales)

“beautiful man hands”

“scene of necrofile sex”

“pones of slpeen grils beming fuck” (still awaiting translation on that one)

“beautiful prostitutes”

“literary agents are fucking idiots” (dude after my own heart)

“cliff sex and other cartons”

“Pissing mouth sci fi porno”

…and, finally, my two favorites this time around:

“desolate vagina”

“I’m fucking fat”

* * * *

I’ve been blogging regularly for six years.

People still manage to astonish me.

Nuff said.

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Photo: Liam Burns