Category: Saw

The Latest News


A bit of an update, covering a couple of points of interest:

First off all, here’s a link to a site that gives a partial credit list of the folks who are adapting my novella “Kept” into a feature length movie. The producers are affiliated with Twisted Pictures/Lion’s Gate, who brought you the “Saw” movies and, urk, “Hostel”. You’ll note my name is nowhere to be seen (surprise, surprise). I put together a brief synopsis for these people to use but so far they haven’t posted it. Too busy covering the latest sequel of a sequel or comic book adaptation, I suppose:

Next I wanted to let you know the good folks here at WordPress have given me permission to sell copies of my books through this blog (thanks, guys). Only two of my books are still in print so those are, obviously, the titles I’m offering. But some months back I assembled a chapbook-like compilation of about two decades of monologues and spoken word pieces (Voiceworks: 1987-2006). The idea was to send the book around in that format hoping to tantalize publishers that specialize in drama. The reactions were underwhelming so after five or six form rejections, I thought “fuck it” and stopped submitting it. This is very much a limited edition, only 15 copies that I’m making available.

Voiceworks (limited number available) $10.00

The Reality Machine $10.00 (Originally published in 1997). I love this collection of tales; very surreal and satirical. Includes favorites like “Also Starring” (selected for three separate major anthologies, including The Year’s Best Fantasy & Horror) and “New World Man”, which leads off a German edition of The 20 All Time Best SF Stories (my name made the cover, appearing alongside my hero, Philip K. Dick, and two other guys you’ve likely never heard of).


Righteous Blood (2003) $20.00 Two novellas dealing with contemporary evil, both of which have been optioned for films, including the aforementioned “Kept”. An intense book, influenced by the likes of Cronenberg, Polanski, David Lynch. Not for the faint-hearted.

Toss in five bucks for shipping and I’ll have them off ASAP. Might be a bit of a delay waiting for extra copies of Righteous to arrive from England so be patient. I’ll make sure to sign every copy too.

Here’s how to order:

Cliff Burns
1142 105th Street
North Battleford, SK
S9A 1S7

Make checks and money orders payable to yours truly–send along your e-mail address if you want confirmation of your purchase.

liarjpeg.jpgScored a couple of terrific items at the library booksale here in town, including the late Graham Chapman reading his Liar’s Autobiography (good stuff), a Don DeLillo novel I hadn’t seen before and transcripts of recordings made in the Oval office during the Cuban Missile Crisis. Twenty five cents each; man, you can’t beat that.

Still plugging away on my novella-in-progress but I’ve been hampered by my fingers (arthritis and/or nerve damage), which have slowed me down considerably. I’m forging onward but…some days it’s pretty tough. I’m a three finger typist and I hit the keys fucking hard…after two decades, the damage to my hands is pretty considerable.

mynardjpeg.jpgAnd, finally, some terrific news: my favorite band in the world, Tool, are coming to Saskatoon the last week in November. My friend Laird was quick on the draw and managed to secure us great tickets so he, Jesse (my nephew and fellow music freak) and I are off to Toontown the end of November for the concert of the decade. Fan-fucking-tastic.

That’ll do for now. More updates as events warrant. Stay tuned…

Hollywood Calling

Well, it’s official.

The final contract (4 copies) arrived today. The movie option for my novella “Kept”. This is it, ladies and gentlemen. If allcontract4.jpeg goes well, some day very soon my strange little tale will be making the leap to the big screen.

The good news was delivered to my door this morning by a nice man from FedEx, who handed me the fat, white envelope and then paused to admire our front flowerbeds (hey, I thought those guys were supposed to hustle from location to location). This has been a long time coming, there have been numerous revisions, phone calls and discussions (some of it unpleasant and I take full responsibility for that–I’m a terrible negotiator, lose my temper far too easily).

This option isn’t going to make me a millionaire but it will take care of some of the maintenance and upkeep for this old, old house. A new, high-efficiency furnace. Airtight doors. And those eaves are looking downright grim…

Anyone who’s been tuning in to this blog knows that my feelings toward contemporary movies and the people who make them are…erm…not overly kind. Still, the chap who’s adapted “Kept” seems to be a guy with a future in the film biz and he tells me that actual shooting could begin later this summer. Now there’s a daunting thought. Don’t get me wrong, “Kept” is perfect film material–it’s structured cinematically and features a gripping plot and some pretty wild characters. Jayson, the screenwriter, somehow hooked up with the people at Twisted Pictures/Lion’s Gate, the folks who brought you those ever-popular “Saw” movies, “Hostel”, etc. They’re not a fly-by-night outfit, they’ve got pedigree. If it does actually get made, more than a few people are bound to see “Kept: The Movie”…only, of course, it will be Jayson’s vision that will be front and centre, not mine.

reel.jpegThat’s hard for a control freak like me to deal with. I’ll get screen credit but that will flit past in an instant. The hope is that any attention the film gets will parlay into more readers for yours truly. Maybe it’ll be a smash hit. God knows. Stranger things have happened. And then what? Aye, there’s the rub. I’m an imaginative bloke but I still have a hard time visualizing that particular future.

The guy I’m most grateful to right now is Peter Crowther. His terrific British press PS Publishing put out my book Righteous Blood (which included “Kept” and another novella, “Living With the Foley’s”, also currently being adapted into a screenplay) back in 2003 and if it hadn’t been for him, this movie deal and everything else that might follow simply wouldn’t have happened. God bless you, Pete, for your faith in me and my bizarre literary offerings.

So, hey, if “Kept” (or whatever it finally ends up being called) ever does make it to your local cineplex, drop me a line, will you? Let me know what you think. I live in a town with only one movie theatre so the chances of it showing up here are slim and none. I’d have to drive in to the nearest big city and with my writing schedule and reluctance to travel that might be a long shot. Did the movie give you a jolt or two? If you’ve read the original novella, tell me how you think it fared. When I was discussing “Kept” with Jayson, I told him at one point: “D’you know what I think the theme of the story is? That even in Hell there’s a hierarchy of evil.”

It was an off-the-cuff comment but afterward I realized I had hit pretty close to the mark. From its conception, “Kept” scared me, put the whammy into me like nothing I’ve written before or since. I’ve never been able to re-read it all the way through since the book was published. I had to go into some dark places to write it and I don’t think I’ve ever completely shaken it off. Hopefully you’ll see what I mean when you view the finished film. It was created in a white heat of rage and despair and desperation. I hope some sense, at least a hint of the primal, visceral power of the original novella makes it into the final cut. If it does, you’re in for a treat.